I was born in Oakland, California. At Kaiser, on Broadway and Macarthur, if you want to drive by • I grew up in Santa Barbara • One summer, my family drove to Seattle, to visit my dad’s parents. We spent some time on Puget Sound, where we dug up huge clams with really thick necks. I haven’t been back to Puget Sound • When I was sixteen, I traveled with a friend to Hong Kong, Nepal, Tibet, China, and Japan, then returned home for a week, then went to Italy, to attend a language school I’m now pretty sure was fake. Not sure what my parents were doing during this time, but I was doing that • I lived in the Bay Area for nine years, mostly in Berkeley, near the Cheeseboard, which I went to a few times every afternoon • I spent the summer of 2000 in New York, working at a law firm. I spent most of that summer eating lunch • I moved to Los Angeles in 2001. The plan was to stay in Los Angeles for exactly one year, then go back to the Bay Area. That is still the plan • I lost my virginity in Nicaragua. This happened after digging up the huge clams on Puget Sound, but before moving to Los Angeles in 2001 • I proposed to my wife under the Eiffel Tower in Paris (France, not Vegas). I fumbled the proposal, but the setting was nice, and she said yes, or nodded, which I took to be yes. Anyway, the point is, we’re married now • At our wedding, in Santa Barbara, my wife was radiant, beautiful, but my suit was too big. It looked like she was marrying David Byrne in Stop Making Sense. In pictures, you can’t really see my hands.
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