I sometimes drive a periwinkle Vespa, with a matching helmet, and occasionally matching kicks. It’s a nice look. If you saw me, you’d probably be like, wow, nice look, bro • In high school, I had a red Vespa P200, with a decal of Che Guevara on the front. That was also a nice look • On most days I drive a Subaru Crosstrek the color of an orange safety cone • My sister and I both got Nishiki bikes growing up, but hers was like a 1000 times nicer than mine • My first car was a 1982 Volvo 240 DL, which I bought used in 1991. Pretty soon after buying it, the overdrive broke and I couldn’t drive it over 45 miles an hour. It took me forever to get anywhere. Still, I hung onto the car for another 8 years. Sometimes, I think this is why I didn’t accomplish more in my 20s • I ride a unicycle • I do not juggle.

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